One of life’s most interesting challenges is the ongoing process of deciding whether or not we choose how life is. So many tell us that with genetics, the influences of our early family life and the impact of the environment we live in, that our life is pretty well determined. But then, we all know that on any given day we can choose to go to work or not, to eat healthfully or go to the donut shop and indulge.
The way we form habits and how our brain seems to “rewire itself” to create powerful craving , seems to leave us as victims of circumstance. Other folks insist that we are victims of comfort or of our drive to control everyone and everything in our life. So how do we navigate this complicated landscape?
…you are able to put something powerful between the stimuli in the world and the craving in your own mind and body.
Well certainly, our drive to feel satisfied and be happy is universal in our humanness. We might get lucky, but we know that having all of the money and privilege in the world affords no guarantee that we will experience joy or be happy over the long run. It seems that yogi’s who can slow their heart rate to a near stop and quiet their mind don’t seem to want very much at all. If you are able to read and understand these words, then you are able to put something powerful between the stimuli in the world and the craving in your own mind and body.
If you have the ability to think, you have the power of intention. To live with an awareness of your intention is incredibly powerful. To be unaware of your intention and your motivations means that your life is determined by your genetics, your circumstances and your drive for comfort. To be a full owner of your intentions and to have relationships in which you can explore and share your intentions is a great help for this.
If you don’t seem to follow your best intentions then your signals of pain and guilt are reminders to refocus on what you intend and why. Only then can you make plans to develop better ways to manifest those intentions.
We are trained to guilt when we fall short. Living in guilt promotes a feeling that we are not in control and that we are beholden to someone else’s expectations of ourselves. Using our guilt to clarify our intentions and focus on what skills and connections we need to employ our best intentions is putting those instincts to good use.
The ideas of William Glasser that are highlighted on this site are designed to help us to do just that. In the history of archery, to miss the target is called “sinning”. So, if we miss the target, lets make sure we know what the target is and develop our skills to be on the mark of our intent.
– Bruce Allen